The Hazards Of Love
by SplitCoke
Summary: Ten random views into the life of Jim and Pam, past, present and a smidgen of future. Some humor, some angst, some slapping.


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N _Suffering from MASSIVE writers block, I resorted to some old tricks. iTunes on shuffle. Ten songs. You have only the duration of the song to write whatever you can, whatever comes to mind. Apparently, this is what happened. Each of the songs have been added to this playlist:_**_ http: //www .playlist. com/ playlist/ 18618857483 (you'll have to remove all the spaces I put in, I'm pants at html and links and junk... sorry!) **Feel free to listen as you read**._

**1. Bruce Springsteen- Thunder Road**

She's never told him that she hates Bruce Springsteen. Pam's dad is a huge fan and played him all the time when she was younger, but for some reason she just can't stand the Boss. So when Jim rolls down all the windows in his car as they drive back to the church after their little boat ride and starts bellowing "Thunder Road" at the top of his lungs, it takes everything she has not to ask him to switch the song. But then she looks at his face and can see that even though it's a song about a marginally attractive whore finally finding love, this man has never been happier. When Bruce croons about buying this guitar and learning how to make it talk, she plays along in the passenger seat, making the noises with her mouth and strumming away. Because she just married her best friend and no one knows and she's never been happier either.

**2. Delta Spirit- Children**

Jim and Pam have never been super political. Yes, they voted, yes they pay attention, yes they watch The Daily Show, but there was never the burning need to get involved or change the world. Until Pam gets pregnant. Now Jim spends his Saturdays watching CNN and Fox News and listening to NPR because, dear God, their kid does not need to come into a world that's screwed up. What if this health care thing happens? Or doesn't happen? He needs to know what this means for hospital visits, because any child of Jim's is going to break a bone or two or fall out of a tree or something.

And Pam can't stop worrying about global warming. Every night at dinner she tells Jim about another animal that's become extinct, another country in danger of being submerged when the ice caps melt. WHAT IF HER BABY NEVER GETS TO SEE A POLAR BEAR??? It's just too much to comprehend.

As the due date approaches other things become more important, like what color the nursery should be, and the fact that they haven't bought a crib yet, and the disintegration of the Great Barrier Reef takes second stage. Pam draws penguins and polar bears on one wall of the nursery, though, just in case...

**3. Rilo Kiley- A Man/ Me/ Then Jim**

He has this dream. He doesn't have it every night, but once in a lifetime was more than enough for him. In the dream he's standing on the front walk of a house. This really nice looking little house in a nice neighborhood with a nice lawn and nice cars in the driveway. He's on his knees, looking up at the brilliantly red front door, the porch light on and casting a glow just to where the tips of his fingers are pressed into the pavement, and he screams. Of course it's a dream, so he can't hear himself screaming, but Dream Jim knows he's been screaming for a while and his throat is protesting as every ounce of strength he has left yells Pam's name at that stupid door. When he knows he's dreaming he wishes with all his might that the door won't open this time, but inevitably it does, because even he knows that he doesn't deserve happy dreams anymore. And he curses the day he started listening to Rilo Kiley, as the door swings wide and Pam steps out in that iridescent dress and looks down at him with sad eyes.

"You can sleep upon my doorstep, you can promise me indifference, Jim. But my mind is made up and I'll never let you in again."

And then he wakes up.

**4. The Decemberists- The Wanting Comes In Waves/ Repaid**

Pam's become a big believer in karma since her broken engagement. Or, at least that's what she tells herself, how she rationalizes all of the perfectly unpleasant things that have happened to her in the last year or so. It's how she explains away the fact that even though she started taking art classes, and was given the opportunity to show off some of her work in the open house, Michael is the only one who seems as excited about the whole thing as she is. Michael. In a way it makes sense to her, though. He has the mentality of a nine-year-old sometimes, the simple things _would_ impress him.

The only reason she invited the entire office was because she thought Jim might be more inclined to come if he wasn't the only one invited.

The only reason she did any of this in the first place was because Jim made her think she could.

Okay, so maybe she doesn't believe in karma so much as she believes that turning down Jim poisoned her life in some way. The biggest mistake she thinks she's ever made is like a slow neuro-toxin spreading through her body, and it's just going to kill her from the inside out. Every time her Jim Immune System starts to build back up, another vital organ will shut down.

Her heart's already been hit, she thinks maybe her liver's next.

**5. Ray Lamontagne- Jolene**

Pam is a drug. That's the only explanation Jim has for the way he's feeling right now. Withdrawal. It's crazy, because he only had her the one time, but it was apparently enough. And not enough. There are boxes in every corner of his fancy new apartment, all waiting to be unpacked and given a home in this fancy new state. They're all being ignored now, as Jim curls himself up on the bare mattress laying in the center of his bedroom. If he thinks hard enough, he can remember the way his fingers slipped into her hair and curled into her dress as he fought not to hold her too tight. He wonders what she smells like, right in that spot where her neck meets her shoulder. If her light perfume is just a little bit stronger there, or if she'll just smell like soap and copier toner. He thinks it'll be the second one. He only wants one more whiff. One more kiss. One more chance.

**6. The Submarines- Xavia**

Everyday is the same in this office, in that every day tests Jim's limits. He's only been here a year, but it only took a week or two to notice the pattern, the rut that everyone here seems to be in. He's beginning to wonder how much longer he can take this, whether or not he should start looking for a job.

He thinks that at least once an hour. But then he'll look over at reception and Pam will make a face, or suggest a break, or Jim will find a new way to torture his desk mate, and then Pam will smile.

He doesn't know what it is about her smile, but for a few seconds everything seems alright. At least he has a friend here. A really good friend.

**7. Handsome Furs- What We Had**

She is going to hurt Michael. Actually physically hurt him. It's the perfect time to punch him, she thinks, it can all be blamed on pregnancy hormones later. Hell, Michael's probably already made that leap in his mind, it won't take much to push the idea. The visceral, sadistic glee she gets out of having Michael watch Toby teach her how to punch is almost enough, actually. To know that her boss is scared of her right now, would probably do anything she asked to get out of this gets the wheels turning in her head, thinking of things she's always wanted for the office.

***

She doesn't regret her choice. The feeling of her hand connecting with his face, and the little sob she hears when it's over are the best retribution ever.

Maybe pregnancy is making her a little crazy...

**8. Stars- Look Up**

It's absolutely pouring. This day is textbook miserable, by anyone else's standards. This morning they discovered a leak in the ceiling of one of the extra bedrooms and that damn clown is still in the hallway and she had to buy generic yogurt this week to cut some corners. Seriously, she should be depressed. But then she thinks about how the ceiling and the painting are both a part of their house. Their. House. Her and Jim. She laughs out loud a little at that, how great that feels, and rips her socks off as she runs out the backdoor into their yard. Their yard. She knows she's going to get a cold, she can feel it, but as she stands in the middle of the uncut grass and holds her arms wide, there's a smile on her face as she lifts it to the sky.

**9. Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros- Come In Please  
**

Jim has this vision of their kid. It's never distinguished between a girl or a boy, he just knows it's theirs, and it's standing at their backdoor looking out into the yard. His kid, looking out at its parents as they stand at a big grill. Jim's got a plate of assorted meats in his hand, Pam is laughing at his lack of grilling skill, and there's a dog racing from one side of the lawn to the other. And his kid's just watching this, taking it all in.

And his kid's happy.

**10. Travis- Writing To Reach You**

Every Sunday Pam writes in the baby book. She got started doing it when she found out she was pregnant, jotting down a quick note about a strange craving, the *ahem* wonderful names Jim had suggested that week, just little things she didn't want to forget. She has big plans for this book, drawings and photos and stories, because any child of her and Jim's is part of an already epic story, and the physical, living proof of how well all of this has turned out should be privy to all of the details. Jim teases that by the time she gives their child the book it will be too heavy to lift, so she can probably leave out how she mixed peanut butter and raspberry ice cream the other day.

But Pam wants to make sure everything is there. She wishes she had had the presence of mind to write down every part of her and Jim's story, the brain power to remember every funny thing he ever said to her, every moment that made them who they are. This will have to do, though.

She takes out a purple felt tip pen and tells their unborn child that today, Andy Bernard tried to be its father.

Jim tells her she REALLY doesn't need to write that down.

_Thanks for reading!_


End file.
